


separate

by camboy_hynjin



Series: mirror images [2]
Category: ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Coming Out, Demigirl Dongju, Gen, Gender Identity, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Twins, changing pronouns, nonbinary Dongmyeong, pronoun switch, questioning gender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26690758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camboy_hynjin/pseuds/camboy_hynjin
Summary: “You, um... remember what I told the choreography teacher the other day?” Dongju asks, voice still quiet, uncertain.“About the pronouns?” Dongmyeong guesses. Dongju nods. “Of course, Ju. What about them?”
Relationships: Son Dongju | Xion & Son Dongmyeong
Series: mirror images [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955875
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	separate

Dongju’s shaking as they wait for Dongmyeong to arrive, leg bouncing beneath the table to dispel some of their nervous energy. The twins are supposed to be practicing for their special stage for ONEWE’s concert—they learned the choreography a few days ago and have already been over it a few times—but Dongju doesn’t know if they can today. 

They've had a lot on their mind since that first choreography practice, and they need to talk to Dongmyeong about it. So instead of meeting in the practice room like they planned, they asked Dongmyeong to meet them in one of the company’s empty meeting rooms instead, the one where Dongju normally does VLives. 

Dongmyeong’s late. They enter the room exactly six minutes after the time they promised Dongju they’d meet them, which Dongju knows because they’ve been watching each and every second tick by on the wall clock. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Dongmyeong says before Dongju can complain, voice muffled by the mask covering the lower half of their face. “We were running through a few of the songs at band practice and lost track of time.” 

“It’s fine,” Dongju says quietly, barely looking at their twin, and that’s how Dongmyeong knows something’s wrong. 

They take their mask off, sliding into the chair across from Dongju, and when Dongju spares a glance up, they see worry etched into their features. “Talk to me,” they say gently. 

But Dongju can’t, suddenly. They try to take a deep breath, but it feels like they can’t breathe, lungs filling up with water instead of air. 

“Dongju?” 

Dongju’s crying, hot tears sliding down their cheeks. They bring their hands up to hide their face, wishing they had long sleeves they could pull down to cover their arms, their hands. They feel too exposed suddenly. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Whatever it is, you’re okay.” Dongmyeong’s voice—warm, comforting—cuts through the panic. 

The twins have never been perfect mirror images of each other. Their facial features are different, and Dongmyeong is a good few centimeters shorter than Dongju. But Dongju has always been able to look at Dongmyeong and see themself reflected in their twin. When Dongmyeong came out as nonbinary when they were sixteen, that was the first time Dongju realized there was a name for what they felt, and that Dongmyeong felt it too—somewhere in between the boys they had been told they were at birth and the princesses Dongju idolized growing up. 

This is the first time Dongju has ever felt like they might be totally, markedly different than Dongmyeong. Even when they went to different schools and chose different career paths, they’ve always had each other just a phone call away or a short walk down the hall to each other’s dorms. Now, Dongju fears they’re standing at the edge of a road Dongmyeong can’t follow them down, feeling something that Dongmyeong won’t understand. 

Dongju gulps in a breath, and then another. Dongmyeong offers them a tissue, and Dongju takes it, wiping their eyes. Dongmyeong’s always been so patient and understanding with Dongju, ever since they were kids. Even if Dongmyeong doesn’t feel the same way, they would never judge Dongju. They can tell Dongmyeong this, even if they’re not sure they can tell anyone else. 

“You, um... remember what I told the choreography teacher the other day?” Dongju asks, voice still quiet, uncertain. 

“About the pronouns?” Dongmyeong guesses. Dongju nods. “Of course, Ju. What about them?” 

Dongju is quiet for several seconds, picking at their fingernails again. For once, Dongmyeong doesn’t comment, giving Dongju space. Patience. 

Neither of the twins are out, publicly, as nonbinary. Their members know, and some of their company staff. RBW is pretty accepting of that sort of thing, fortunately, which perhaps Dongju should have expected from a company named Rainbow Bridge World. But the general public has different ideas, and Dongju knows the risks of coming out publicly are still too high at this point in time. If they admit this, it has to stay behind closed doors, and that’s part of why Dongju is so scared to say it. They're already pretending to be someone they aren’t on camera. This would just make it so much worse. 

“I liked them,” Dongju says finally. “I liked them... a lot.” 

Dongmyeong stays quiet, seeming to sense that Dongju has more they want to say. Dongju takes a deep breath, gathering their nerve. “And I’ve been thinking... I know we both prefer ‘they’ pronouns, but you don’t mind when people call you ‘he.’” 

“Right,” Dongmyeong says softly, affirmatively. “Because I’m not a boy, but I’m more like a boy than a girl, and it’s just easier for people.” 

Dongju nods, taking a moment to find their next words. “I don’t... I don’t think I feel that way.” Their voice gets quieter as they speak, trailing off into a whisper, like they’re afraid to voice it. 

Dongmyeong reaches across the table and grabs their hand, squeezing it for support. Dongju feels like they could cry again. “What exactly do you mean, Dongju?” 

Dongju takes another deep breath, fighting tears. “I-I’m not... I’m not... I’m not a boy,” they say finally, shutting their eyes tight as the weight of what they're admitting hits them. “I don’t like when people call me that, but I like... I liked when you said ‘she’s my twin.’” Despite their best efforts, their tears spill over anyway. “I like being called pretty, I like wearing makeup and dressing up as a princess and I think I... I think I feel more like a girl than a boy.” 

Dongmyeong lets go of their hand, and Dongju hiccups out a sob, afraid for a second that Dongmyeong is leaving. Then they feel Dongmyeong’s arms around them, safe and secure, and they wonder how they could have ever had that fear. 

“It’s okay if you feel more like a girl,” Dongmyeong says. Dongju hugs them back, clinging tightly. “You’re still my twin. I love you no matter fucking what, you know that?” 

Dongju nods, wiping at her eyes again. She hates crying like this. 

“Are those the pronouns you want me to use? They/she?” Dongmyeong checks. 

Dongju sniffles. “Please?” 

Dongmyeong hugs her tighter. “Thank you for telling me. I promise, you’re valid, and if you want to tell the others, I’ll be right by your side if you want me to be. And if you’re not ready, I’ll just keep using ‘they’ pronouns in front of them.” 

“You’re the best twin ever,” Dongju blubbers, hiding her face against Dongmyeong’s shirt. She really, really loves them. 

Dongmyeong strokes her hair lovingly. “I know,” they quip, and Dongju rolls her eyes, secretly glad for the normalcy their banter provides. “And you’re the best baby sister.” 

“It was one minute!” Dongju whines. But she likes that, she thinks. Being Dongmyeong’s sister. She takes a deep breath, encouraged to continue. “I was doing research. Reading about different labels to try and find one that fit, and I think I... I think I might be a demigirl.” 

Dongmyeong hums, still playing with Dongju’s hair. She’s been growing it out recently. It wasn’t on purpose, at first, it had just been a while since the stylists cut her hair. But she likes it longer, so far. She likes looking in the mirror and seeing it and feeling pretty. 

“I’ll be honest, I don’t totally know what that means,” Dongmyeong starts. “But I’ll learn. Because I meant what I said, all of it. You’ll always be my twin, and I love you and support you no matter what.” 

Dongju looks up, and sees nothing but love and acceptance in Dongmyeong’s eyes. Maybe Dongmyeong doesn’t understand yet. Maybe they don’t feel the way Dongju does. But they love her just the same, and that’s enough. Dongju might not be ready to tell the world, or even her bandmates just yet. But she has Dongmyeong on her side, and right now, Dongju thinks that’s all she needs. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated. <3


End file.
